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(Of course, Leyton only ever really had eyes for Duncan Carpenter, the doe-eyed little flirt). Please save me, Jesus - I'll believe in you if you save me now ...

I mean, what's Johnson done for black people lately?! )Jez: Eh, I've done quite a lot actually, I mean not formal filing, but you know, alphabetabecising the videos, doing the spices, I suppose what I'd want to do is build on that experience in a professional... (God, that sounded amazing, don't accidentally get the bugger! Yeah, so my new idea is urine.) [urinates into drawer] (Loads and loads of urine, flooding your drawers. ) [phone rings, Mark answers] JLB Credit, fuck off please! I'm just surprised you can see me from all the way up there in your ivory tower. Oh Jesus, it's too much, I'm going to blow my beans! )Mark: Look at us Jez, we're letting our lives slip through our fingers. And I'm never going to meet a woman in a pub, or a nightclub, or an art gallery, or a bookshop, or any other formal or informal social gathering. [holds up a post-it note] "Look, I know what you think happened and yes you're right I have eaten all your ice cream." This is it. I went to get the Cherry Garcia out to defrost and look what I found inside! People shitting in bags and throwing it out the window at each other.

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