I'm speaking to you from the year 1987, but the message is timeless: Avoid The Noid! You look exactly as I imagine Mary Magadalene to be." —Kenneth, Season 3, Episode 15"Go to Disneyland?Lemon, I've held Walt Disney's frozen head in my hands." —Jack, Season 3, Episode 16"Lizzing is a combination of laughing and whizzing." —Liz, Season 3, Episode 16"Yes, the rest of us talked about it last night at Finnegan's, the bar we go to after work.Like a genetically-manipulated shark." —Tracy, Season 3, Episode 19"In my experience, 'let's think about it' usually ends up as me watching in my basement on prom night." —Liz, Season 3, Episode 19"Isn't there a Slanket somewhere you should be filling with your farts?" —Elisa, Season 3, Episode 19"Don't push it Liz, let it happen. " —Liz, Season 3, Episode 21"If I have learned anything from my SIMS family: When a child doesn't see his father enough he starts to jump up and down, then his mood level will drop until he pees himself." —Liz, Season 3, Episode 21"Which one is the elevator I'm not afraid of? " —Kenneth, Season 4, Episode 5"Miss Maroney, your Mexican diet pills came. The same people who say my grandfather was a monkey. " —Kenneth, Season 4, Episode 6"I know it's a girl, Liz Lemon, because I yelled out 'Susan B. A homeless man cooking a Hot Pocket on a third rail of the G train! " —Tracy, Season 4, Episode 21"I've prepared a very unromantic evening.Then you take that problem and you crush it with your mind vice.But for lesser beings, like curly haired men and people who need glasses, therapy can help." —Jack, Season 5, Episode 9"Who hasn't made mistakes?They taught us to sweep sawdust so we could find work at a mill.
" —Dennis, Season 1, Episode 6"I am a stabbing robot." —Tracy, Season 1, Episode 7"It's after six. " —Jack, Season 1, Episode 7"Jack Donaghy is gonna kill me and then he's gonna kill you and then he's gonna fold us up in a pizza and eat us." —Liz, Season 1, Episode 9"I don't have any money if that's what you're after.
" —Tracy, Season 4, Episode 1"When the Parcells first came to America, they lived in a town called Sexcriminalboat." —Kenneth, Season 4, Episode 3"My mom used to send me articles about how older virgins are considered good luck in Mexico." —Liz, Season 4, Episode 5"Looks like you got a bad case of the chew-daddies. Should I start taking them to test their side effects? Anthony' at the moment of conception." —Tracy, Season 4, Episode 9"For four years I've had to make do with what passes for men around here, with their untucked shirts, boneless faces, their Stars, both Wars and Trek." —Jack, Season 4, Episode 10,"You can do some serious subway flirting before you realize the guy is homeless." —Liz, Season 4, Episode 11"The imaginary enemy. The Salem Witch Trials, the Red scare, global warming." —Jack, Season 4, Episode 11"I'm sure she's down there, chain-smoking, sitting on the curb, waiting for me to come out. First we're going to see a documentary about female circumcision, and then we're going to eat too much Indian food." —Jack, Season 4, Episode 21"God, three weddings in one day, I'm going to be in Spanx for 12 hours.
Just like the day I was born." —Jenna, Season 4, Episode 12"There ain't no party like a Liz Lemon party 'cause a Liz Lemon party is mandatory! My elastic line is gonna get infected again." —Liz, Season 4, Episode 21"Ambition is the willingness to kill the things you love and eat them in order to stay alive. " —Jack, Season 5, Episode 6"Trying on jeans is my favorite thing.
And I'm not one of those girls that does weird stuff in bed because they think they have to.
If you're a gay guy looking for a beard, I don't do that anymore.
has been a bit uneven in recent seasons, the one thing that remained a constant was the hilarious, quotable lines that the show's talented writing team would sprinkle into each episode.