With the divorce rate over 50 percent, too many are apparently making a serious mistake in deciding who to spend the rest of their life with. The golden rule is, if you can't be happy with the person the way he or she is now, don't get married. You pick the wrong person because the man doesn't understand what a woman needs most.To avoid becoming a "statistic," try to internalize these 10 insights. You pick the wrong person because you expect him/her to change after you're married. As a colleague of mine so wisely put it, "You actually can expect people to change after they're married... " So when it comes to the other person's spirituality, character, personal hygiene, communication skills, and personal habits, make sure you can live with these as they are now. You pick the wrong person because you focus more on chemistry than on character. Men and women have unique emotional needs, and more often than not, it is the man who just doesn't "get it." Jewish tradition places the onus on the man to understand the emotional needs of a woman and to satisfy them.
Intimacy before the commitment of marriage can be a big problem because it often precludes a fully honest exploration of important issues. And a clouded mind is not inclined to make good decisions.
You need to know now, before making a commitment: Can you resolve your differences and find compromises that work for both of you?
Never be afraid to let the person know what bothers you.
As a wise woman once pointed out, "Men have two speeds: on and off." Women are experience-oriented.
When a man is able to switch gears and become more experience-oriented, he will discover what makes his wife very happy.
" This does not mean, "Am I impressed by this person? We do not respect someone because they own a Mercedes. Can I fully be myself and express myself with this person? Do you have a really close friend who does make you feel this way?