We talked about our eating disorders with a candor unavailable to us at the lunch table.
When I messaged boys I liked, I learned to have conversations where there was no pressure to arrive at a right answer.
Katz told me AIM “was a way we learned to enact pleasure or demonstrate that we were feeling pleasure, even and especially if we weren’t.” At the same time we were using AIM, my best friends and I were also listening to NSync.
We were fans, but we made fun of one song: “Digital Get Down.” We thought it was “awkward” how NSync made a song about asking some girl to touch herself on a webcam.
Girl: I have a boyfriend Boy: I have a math test Girl: What? Why don't you take my Whatchamacallit and slip it up your Bit 'O' Honey? Your daddy must be a drug dealer, cuz you're so dope. I advise you to surrender immediately, or I'll have to use a chat up line.
" Instead of being the derivative, id much rather be the secant so i can touch u not only once, but twice Boy: Girl, whats your number? Boy: "Oh I must have forgotten the letters U R A Q T" Do You Like Nintendo? If I hired 1,000 artists and made them work for 100 years they still wouldn't be able to paint a picture that is as beautiful as you. You getting into those tight pants or me getting you out of them? "Give me 30 minutes over lunch, and i will win your heart, as you have already won mine." Hey beautiful, they call me Jolly Rancher cause I stay hard for a long time! "My boys over there bet that I wouldn't be able to start a conversation with the most beautiful girl in the room. " "Look you little Juicy Fruit, don't be a Zero, be a Lifesaver. (make her look) Would you like a gin and platonic or a Scotch and sofa?
It was in those unstructured conversations that I could be typing so fast my guard came down.
“It was pleasurable to meet new people and learn that you were ‘attractive’ somehow,” Katz recalls.
Exploiting yourself on the quest for attention was one risk with AIM.
Chatting online, rather, the goal was just to banter.
I got to see that bandying ideas around for hours could be a path to intimacy.
" "Hi, i'm writing a phone book, can I have your number? How about me and you go play dress up, I'll be the knight in shining armor and you can be my noble steed, that way I get to ride you all day! "Hi, i'm wasted but this condom in my pocket doesn't have to be." Hello, I'm bisexual. If I were a gardener, I'd put your tulips and my tulips together.
Roses are red, violets are blue, what will it take to Snapchat your boobs. Boy: Oh I thought we were talking about things we could cheat on Boy: Lets play the firetruck game Girl: How do you play Boy: I run my fingers up your legs and you say red light when you want me to stop Girl: Okay Boy: Fire trucks don't stop for red lights! "How about I grab your delicious Mounds, pull down your Snickers and put my Butterfinger up your tight little Kit Kat until you scream Oh Henry! Are you a parking ticket coz you got fine written all over you?
A friend of mine reminded me of the way, at sleepovers, we used to go into chat rooms, pretend to be in our 20s, and try to get men to “cyber,” the AIM version of phone sex.