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Not long ago, I pulled out the shoebox and reread each letter, experiencing all over again the excitement of a new relationship, the uncertainty of reciprocated feelings and the hesitancy to let my heart run away with me.I remember constantly asking myself, “Does he really like me? ” I also remember reading and rereading every card to decipher any hidden encouragement that he might truly like me as much as I was growing to like him.“Be real, be genuine, and be honest,” adds Felita, “but never without the anchor of boundaries and the weight of wisdom.” It’s normal to want to spend more and more time with someone you enjoy.

Taking a break from dating after a breakup isn't just about licking your wounds, though—it's also about figuring out what you've learned and can carry over to your next relationship, says psychologist Sanam Hafeez, Psy. "The ends of relationships teach us so much about ourselves: our style of communication, whether that style is effective or not, how we handle insecurities, conflict, and co-existing as an individual and as part of a two-some simultaneously," she says.

So a fling or one-night stand after a breakup may not be a bad thing—but if you're looking to get into another serious relationship, you're probably better off waiting until you're more or less over your previous one.

I was 21 years old when I drove from Texas to Colorado with my friend Christie to attend the wedding of a friend from Japan. Unbeknownst to me that very evening my future husband sat across the dinner table from me.

I didn’t want my heart to get ahead of reality, so I held back for quite a while.

And what I also know now is that it was a smart move.

But for many, the temptation can be to go too deep, too fast – especially emotionally. Why is it vital for us to guard our heart, as the writer of Proverbs puts it, .

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