There are more victims in the environment of the Loser than his or her partner.I’ve been contacted for help by the friends and loved ones of people involved in relationships with Losers (controlling and/or abusive partners).
His own family doesn’t seem to want much to do with him.
Doesn’t he understand that he is separating himself from her family and our values? We want him to stop seeing her and find a girl who is appropriate.”Ah. When that happens, parents are challenged to the depths of their souls.
Is your love for your child bigger or smaller than your commitment to an opinion, a belief or value system? You don’t see how the object of his affection can possibly provide that.
If sex is involved, it’s even less likely that forcing the issue will help resolve it. But if it all does fall apart, your love and reasonableness through the whole thing will make it far easier for your child to come to you for comfort and to learn from the mistake.
If you’re dating a ‘loser’, you may recognize in your partner some of these characteristics described by Consulting Clinical Psychologist Joseph M. This article continues with a note on dangerous versions of the ‘loser’ and offers guidelines for detachment.
This article was published to the Internet several years ago and was originally written to help identify “Losers” in relationships.