lol Not because I have daughters, because I have two sons. My four sisters and I about drove my daddy insane....trying to keep tabs on each of us when we started dating!! Daddy was extremely strict,and I suppose,all of us girls understood to a point as to why. I mean you can't really get to know someone,when your watching a movie,or swaping spit!! Anyway,my sisters and I had to become more creative. She will be 17 soon,and a year after she will be old enough to move out on her own. I do have a daughter who just turned 17 last week and her boyfriend of 6 months just turned 18. They are both seniors in High School and go to separate schools. She has a curfew on weeknights and an curfew on Weekends. She still has to follow the rules of the city and the city has a curfew for all children under 18. Some kids are also street-smart and others are not.
Mom and dad had enough to handle,with ( Seven) I would imagine the mere thought of one of us coming to him with the news of a pregancy,would have quite literally sent him over the edge! We'd tell him we were going to the drag races and dinner,or anything that would take more than an hour or two,just so we could be out a little later. I think I would insist on a mutual curfew,and let her know,that you set that,merely to set your mind at ease. They are planning on what they are going to do after graduation and want to be together. We took off last week and left her and the boyfriend with our little ones for a while and I talked to both of the teenagers and told them EXACTLY what I expected from them. They said that they would be on their best behavior. In addition to all the other great responses, just make sure she is self-confident, is aware of her sexuality, is aware of birth control, AND... Keep open and non-judgmental communication with her, so she feels she can come to you for anything and whatever reason, no matter how silly or serious. Speak to her about common sense too, even though she is almost 17. But mainly, they need to know that we "trust" them, and respect them too.
Also, if you haven't, talk to her about what is fair - jealousy, etc....
You would be suprised at the number of male students I have who feel it is okay for them to talk to another girl and have female friends while dating someone, but they don't believe the girl they are dating should have male friends or hang out with males except for them. I also love the suggestion about mixing up the dates - some family nights, some group nights, and some couple excursions - as long as you continue to monitor where and with whom, I think all should go as smoothly as can be anticipated.
My parents always had to meet, and approve of my dates. They had to actually come in and (gasp) talk to my parents. Even though I thought they were really strict at the time, and I did rebel a bit behind their backs, overall I think they handled it the best way they could by being involved and informed. Our feelings are: they are going to do it anyways, so be very open with them and yes have the sex talk. How to value her body and dont fall for the "if you love you will".
That way they could size up the boy, run their mental lie detectors and let them know about my curfew for the evening. My dad managed not to have a heart attack, and I left for college with my hymen and self esteem intact. You have to go with your heart and whats important to you. have them at the house as much as possible so you can see how they get along and how much he respects her and her opinion.
I have always made sure I know where my children are and who they are with at all times, but how much freedom should I give her at this age? My daughter told him she wasn't ready for that yet (yay! He told her that he thought she was too young and he wanted to wait until they were married (yay agian! So everything seems to be smooth sailing so far, I still plan on staying involved and will always be there for her if she needs me. We both have had discussions on our expectations for the kids.
Should I allow her to go on a date alone or only with a group? Hi L.: Well, I've had alot of experience in this department. I could write a pretty funny book about the experiences. If you have an open relationship with her and she doesn't do anything to cause you to question her honesty,or integrety,then don't second guess her ability to make the right decisions. She knows that I am a bit more relaxed than her Dad is. We talk to them about what we don't want, ie, preganancy, STD's etc. We always keep the lines of communication open for her and her older brother. Does your daughter have good judgment and "know" what to do in case of emergency or if she does not want to do something that the others are doing? These are all scenarios that DOES happen a lot, and is common.
A 20 year old, faces different obstacles and a way different life compared to someone who is 16-years-old. People are asking for Herizen to now be replaced on ‘The Get Down’ due to this.When my sisters and I speak of those days now, we find it hysterical,and laugh about it,but back then, we found very little humor in it! Daddy would ask how the races were,and I'd tell him FAST! You want to know your daughter will return home safely. If I didn't know better I would have thought that I wrote this. When we got home the younger ones, the spies, told us that they were very good and didn't even kiss in front of them. does not feel she "has to" do what a boy wants with her body.... No matter what, she is still a child, who is now entering her FIRST relationship... All the best, Susan In my experience the key thing is to make your expectations clearly known.Incidents,such as opening the front door,at the exact moment my date was giving me a goodnight kiss. The problem we had ,was telling him exactly where we were going. If she doesn't use good judgement,and leaves you to fret,without contacting you,then i'd share the consequences with her. There will probably be times,they meet up with others and make it a group date,but at 17 Shes mature enough to date alone. My daughter is 17 and she has to be home by 11 on weekends and usually isn't allowed out during the week except if there is a set plan. in high school and although she oftens complains she is the only one with a curfew I know she knows it is for her best. and no matter what, even as she approaches 17, she is still in high-school, right? ALSO, the boy should be making appearances at your house too... If you have a curfew it is to be respected, and if not, then (fill in the blank.) We can discuss whether we think teen sex is a good idea, but the fact of the matter is, what we think may not dictate what our kids do.also if her daddy is in the picture he needs to talk to her about how boys should treat her. Even on school nights I hear about my students being out until after 10 and on weekends it seems like some are literally out all night.FYI - only hearing the male side as I teach at an all boys school, but the truth is somewhere in the middle of how late and how often they are out.One of the stars of the show is Herizen Fawn, who plays Mylene Cruz.