Maybe I could put on Big Bond Themes and pretend I'm entering data for MI6.)Mark: (Come on, Mark, turn it on! ) Oh, er, naughty, you've combined metric and imperial, you might get an interdenominational...er, you know, from mixing the two measurement systems, a hangover of that kind (Just stay mute, Mark. Remain in your compound.)Mark: (Need time to think. I guess the only good thing is that my life is so boring it feels like it might go on forever. It’s only the miracle of consumer capitalism that means you’re not lying in your own shit, dying at 43 with rotten teeth. Mark: She's not out of Hollyoaks, Jeremy, she probably had a ration book! I'm down the pub putting the hours in with the dad, and you're back at the house banging the mum! Mark: (Oh God, the first fiancé challenge and I've got a gun. It's OK, it's perfectly normal, this is the country. They go around shooting crows, and trespassers, and eventually, because of the EU, themselves.)Johnson: Tonight should be a free-fire idea zone.
(God, that sounded amazing, don't accidentally get the bugger! Yeah, so my new idea is urine.) [urinates into drawer] (Loads and loads of urine, flooding your drawers. ) [phone rings, Mark answers] JLB Credit, fuck off please! I'm just surprised you can see me from all the way up there in your ivory tower.
Of course, there had to be a sport for me, I just never realised.
You think the guys who invented Google sat around watching Trumpton? Fighting prejudice and negative stereotypes wherever you find them!
That is the single worst, single, bloody idea ever. ) [Discovers the cartoon has disappeared from Sophie's desk] (It's gone!
Your hair isn't red, people don't walk around on stilts. Just keep clear of her till you've worked out a - I could say Jeremy had a gun and made me sing it ... Maybe you could be a crackbitch and sit on my -)Mark: (I'll be able to order him around.
I mean, it's been a long time for either of us, I mean, I haven't had my oats in something like two weeks!! Today I even considered doing that thing that that MP and Michael Hutchence did. [Mimes putting a rope around his neck and masturbating]Jeremy: Brilliant, Mark. Mark: Hi, hi, say isn't it funny all the coffee, what's with all the coffee? He's just going to stand there doing nothing like Jeff's the invading Chinese army. Oh god, it's got to be me.)Jeremy: (God I must look so cool to her, like Pete Doherty or Bukowski.